Motherhood becomes me

... yes 16 months after I gave birth, I still am slowly digesting the fact that I am a mom and this little helpless human depends on me--for everything.

It's a nice feeling--to be needed. But what is nicer is that I know there is someone out there who is loving me unconditionally and who is ingesting everything that I am teaching her.

This little someone makes me happy as crazy and who, despite all the unnecessary pounds, stretch marks and pulled hair, I love more than anything.

I never saw myself as a mother, really. I never really liked kids. Back when I was still living with my dad, I used to scare my baby cousins, but they still follow me like little bees to a honey. My husband (the boyfriend) planned everything--we would get married, get a pad, get a huge dog, travel. And have a baby 10 years later.

And then I realized I am pregnant. And now, I am slowly adjusting to sleeping accidentally and waking up cramming a report, being barfed at at night and sleeping anyway because I have a 6 am call time the following day, removing boogers and wax and calling the lizard and the goblins to help me make this tiny person brush her teeth.

Everyday is a challenge. It is a challenge I am looking forward to.. forever :)